Preface…Lola
In the garden of our family house, we buried my dad under an acer tree at the centre of a circular, erstwhile herb garden, where he could see into the kitchen, and we could look out at him.
Correction: we buried his ashes there, then planted the tree, then created the rockery, then the plants and other memorials to him around that.
That was over two years ago now. The plants have taken well, in the main. But now with a few weeds too. So when I visit, I like to do my bit and tidy it up a little. This time I put in a couple of new plants, not under the acer but in the outer circle, as the acer had now grown prodigiously and was starting to dominate the plot, shutting out the sunlight from the things below it. We needed to cull it. Wrong time of year. The acer won; aced it, you could say.
There’s a metaphor, right there. That’s why I’m writing this.
Lola - family cat - came out to me, sat in the midst of this memorial circle and miaowed incessantly, climbing around me, rolling on her back, miaowing a bit more.
Now this is only remarkable because Lola in every other situation - indoors or out - totally ignores me. She takes feline indifference to another level. But here, she won’t leave me alone.
If you believed in ghosts, or angels, and you knew my dad, and his relationship with this cat, it would all make sense. I’m receiving advice on gardening still, via this proxy miaowing angel. And it still sounds somewhat cajoling, disapproving of my lack of horticultural prowess. Never quite good enough!
That’s the second metaphor.
However old you are, in certain situations, - visits, conversations, pictures, quite moments of meditation - you start to draw connections with people in your past that, however distant their demise from this life, still matter to you. Still influence you. Still make a difference to who you are. Here’s how I see it…
The Ghosts in our Lives
Stop and ponder…
Who do you have in our life? …Partner? Friends? Colleagues? Pets?..
They’re the ones who make up your life right now, right?
But that’s just now, right?
That’s today: those people we talk to, work with, walk with, laugh with, meet on the street, compete in your club, say ‘hi!’ down the pub..
They’re the fabric, the landscape, the backdrop to your every day world
They’re your support team, your crew, your influencers, the reason you do what you do
They’re who you live with, who you love, they lift you up if you’re down , push you forward, make you think, see the light, keep your feet on the ground..
But who else is there?
Who else matters? Who else cares?
Who’s out there? Still watching you, smiling on you, memories in your past maybe, but along the way they might still be making a difference, helping you still.
They’re part of you
They touched you then and they touch you now
So never forget them, say hello…
Smile at those memories, tell their stories
They’re still in the mix that made you, makes you what you are…
…part of your past you might think, but they’re present now.
You have dimensions deeper than those you see and touch today - another layer, etched in your memory, part of your heart, maybe?
Loves you thought you’d lost.
Well here’s the news:
They’re still with you, day to day
In fact. they never really went away.
Wow, it makes for a really deep and thought provoking read, Alan👏🏻